Loosing 'HOME'

As we get near the end of the sale of my grandparents home I find myself becoming more and more emotional. Thinking of all of the fun times spent there as a family. Thanksgiving dinner, summer swim parties where my uncle and dad would swing us kids into the pool, hours and hours of monopoly with my cousin. My grandma in the kitchen getting us milkshakes and toast, my aunt snapping pictures of my cousin and I in front of the stairs with matching outfits and big hair bows. My dad and grandpa towing me out of the creek that runs through the middle of the pasture after I learned the hard way it was in deed a truck eatn creek. I remember my grandfather splitting his pants while riding a mini scooter with my daughter on the back porch. How my great-grandmother refused to wash the glass door because my daughters hand prints we're on it and she wanted them to stay.

With these memories flooding in I've found myself wrapped up in the emotions of that loss. Feeling as though I'm loosing a piece of my past. As emotional as this has been I am thankful for this experience. Although my loss is minute compared to that of a foster child's, this experience has given me a TINY insight to the feelings of loss foster children must have when they are being pulled from the only home and family they know.

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I'll be able to collect my things from the upstairs bedroom, take last minute photographs with my family in the entryway. I'll be able to move forward with most of my beloved family members. For a foster child, they wont. In a moments notice they'll be swept away by people they don't know. Not a chance to say goodbye, not a chance to grab the things they love, no time for a photograph but in the blink of an eye everything they know including the ones they love the most are gone.

Maybe their memories aren't all happy. Mine probably weren't all happy either but that's what I remember the laughable moments, moments of love I remember the happiness. Is that what they remember too? Of course! There going to remember the hug there mom gave them when she came home not that she disappeared on a three day drug binge and left them to fend for themselves. There going to remember how much they liked eating snack cakes and chips for breakfast lunch and dinner not that there was no other food in the house. They are going to remember their favorite shirt and how it smelt like home not that it was there only shirt and had never been washed. There going to remember how their parents let them skip school not that they missed because the adults we're unable to function enough to get them there.

The point is that no matter what the facts if the situations are they LOVE their family, their home and their stuff. When they have to leave it they will morn that loss. Maybe privately maybe openly but we can't expect that because we offer them hugs a hundred times a day, tasty and healthy meals, new clothes or get them into the best school district that they won't experience the pain of loosing home'.

As a foster parent I hope to never again underestimate the loss foster children feel when being moved from their home. I hope to never again minimize the pain of loosing all that they are familiar with. Our job as foster or adoptive family is not to minimize, hide or replace their past but to help them understand how they can grow from the tough experiences, help them hold on to the good memories and add hope to their future. Their past will forever be a piece of them and in some ways has formed the person they have become and we're created to be.

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Posted in Moving and Relocating Post Date 11/26/2015






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